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Latest News / Blog
Here you can find my latest updates, which I will try to do at least once every few weeks!
Oct 30 2006
It’s strange not having a job. For some reason I thought I’d be extremely bored. I should never be left alone for this amount of time to think. 10 years ago I would push myself into chaos so I could be everything and nothing simultaneously. But now I see that chaos is all I’ve ever had, and somewhere I don’t know where years of my life have gone. That was ideal and romantic. And now after all of that, I want to be on the stable end. You know, the normal job, and a house, and a husband. But some part of me panics. Will I turn into a robot? Will I stop really living my life? I know at least Duncan is my center. He has always been the calm. He’s the one that didn’t let me go out so far as to lose myself. And knowing I’ll have that for the rest of my life is a relief. The wedding makes me want to vomit. I hate it. I hate everything about it. It’s the horrible means to the only end that I can possibly have that includes Duncan in my life. We all make our own sacrifices. His are a lot more.
Sept 17 - Sept 23 2006
This week I've been in England with Duncan on his narrowboat. He's finally sold it and we had to take it to it's owner's new location. The distance, which would take someone 40 minutes to drive, will take us about 6 days of slowly puttering down the canals at about 4mph. I think some of the ducks have been swimming faster than the boat. And although I have spent most of the time screaming (huge spiders everywhere), it's been a nice journey and it's been great to spend some much needed alone-time with my fiance.